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Saturday, August 22, 2009

How I write....

I finally realized how I write today.

I have been working on a piece that explores the feelings I have about learning my language.  Basically I scribble phrases and words all over a piece of paper.  Images I like.  Words that fit.  It usually happens within one day.  I can never add anymore the next day when the flow is gone and the feelings are not at the surface to be exposed. But I do take some time to refine it....

Want to see what I wrote on this specific piece of paper? keep in mind that this is as rough as it gets.  I'll post the finished product when it is done so you can compare....

Step into my your head and remember to duck when I say low bridge.

Language shame
Spoken stigma
Ignorance blooms like puss filled scars and blisters
I become ugly
My tongue is ugly
I push I pull words
Words from my elders claw at my secret heart 
revealing that it is filled with sugar (flour) not seal oil like theirs
I prove that I am not Inupiaq, That I am a fraud
I treasure every word that I know, repeat it, repeat it.
hold it tight.
Just pretending I am

A piece of paper dreaming of being wolf skin
A yellow songbird dreaming of being raven
A sigh, dreaming of being more
A 9-5 worker dreaming of being hunter
A handful of soil, dreaming of being caribou

I feel the single word use my mouth

The feelings claw at me
wrapped around my elders words
so that I cannot drink
the sweet and the sour at the same time
I choke
I weep
I think
I write


  1. Now I need to wipe my face. All that you are can be seen and felt. You are beautiful.