Holiday season....

I feel like I should start every blog post with an apology. lol.

It's been almost two months.

I think Christmas to me, and to most people who sell items, is the most hectic and stressful time of the year. For the past two months I have locked myself in my studio for the most part, making jewelry. Most people here in the village thought I was out of town, and every time they saw me they would smile and hug me and welcome me back. One of the elders has nicknamed me "tummak", a word to describe losing an item like you would lose your keys.

We also officially announced our wedding. We were thinking the end of May, but changed it the beginning of June in hopes that goods friends of ours would be able to make it here. There will be GPS coordinates, salmonberry cake, caribou soup and I'm pretty sure we are registering at Sportsmans warehouse for camping gear for our honeymoon. Our rings were made by an artisan , carved from single pieces of titanium. When my other half officially asked for my hand he held me close, tears brimming in his eyes. I heard the first sentence or two, and then I started tearing up and all I remember is feeling like the world just got an official new color. So now I'm planning on how much of our wedding gear and ceremony is going to be traditional. I plan to sew and make it all myself. Everything from the shirts to the wolf skin boots.

He came home with a wolf last night. She was huge. A almost pure white with golden black tips. A beautiful pelt. She was frozen by the time he brought her home. So she lay on the kitchen floor thawing out.

I have seen alot of dead animals in my life. But her bulk in my kitchen made every primitive thought in my brain go nuts. I kept thinking that she took a shallow breath once in a while. Every cell told me I was in danger. Her paws were as large as my hand spread out, and her canines flashed white in a permanent growl.

Very intimidating.

I think in my head I always picture wolves to be a meaner version of a dog. But I saw nothing in her visage that spoke of any type of bond with man. Every cell in her body screamed of predator.

My dog went into heat last month or so. We kept her locked up for the most part wanting nothing of a litter of puppies. I remember waking up one morning and taking her out and putting her on a chain. I sat in the doorway sipping coffee and making sure no male dogs came around. In front of our house is a road, and beyond that is a section of the landing strip, and beyond that is thick willows. A large shadow detached itself from the darkness of the bushes. Long legs moved silently down the landing strip, towards the mountains. I remember thinking first that it was someone's dog that had gotten loose. But I was confused as to why it was heading into the mountains. Then there was a spark in my brain that made me aware of it's size and lope. It was a big male wolf. Black. And completely unafraid.

It creeped me out that I did not notice it at all for at least a few minutes as it watched me.

I'll try to remember to post a picture of the pelt once it's done drying.

And thus a post about CHristmas and weddings turn into thoughts about wolves.....lol...

Happy holidays my friends!

A chance....

I remember when I first moved back to Alaska after living in California for 7 years the first time I saw an animal killed.....I was quite taken aback. There was more blood then I remembered. The animal didn't die as fast as I thought it should have. It made a noise before it passed. It bothered me.

I couldn't understand why it would bother me. I thought about it alot. I examined my inner thoughts as I helped sever flesh from bone. I even went so far as wondering why it didn't bother me when I ate a hamburger, what was the difference?

It wasn't till much later that I realized that I was focussing on the wrong thing. The wrong time. I was thinking about the death....and not what happened afterwards.

I found the difference between eating a hamburger....and living a subsistance life. My take anyways....


Our lumbering souls are exposed for the Creator to see
When we take the shining essence of animals for our own
The crimson blood and pale bone
reveal our make
our inner human
and we are judged with every death
with every action
and with every non-action

How much of our taken wealth do we we share with those that need?
how much respect do we show the clay that we are to make into ourselves?
how clean is the last place earths children will rest?
how much happiness is felt in aching bones working to keep meat safe and long lasting?

We who choose in eating souls are ourselves judged with every take
A hundred times a year
A million times in a lifetime
We do rejoice in the chance to show our worth
To open our hearts and minds and souls
to expose the pain that is joy and utter mortal respect
We forever dance the dance of heart rending favor
We are allowed for a brief time to know ourselves

Torn exposed by Nuna sod
Scrubbed bare by Tagiuq salts
We are allowed for a brief time to
See
ourselves

Changes...and things that happened...

My macbook decided to go crazy on me, and now it's sitting like a pile of silicone and brushed aluminum. I have to send it in to get fixed. I tried explaining to the man on the phone that we do not get FedEx packages here in the village, that if we did it will be more than a couple of days. He sniffed and assured me in his heavy Indian accent that FedEx goes EVERYWHERE. We shall see. I am a bazillion times greatful for having the foresight to pay for the careplan for the laptop, and even more greatful that I regularly backup up all my files onto two external hardrives. I still have nightmares of printing a 30 page paper due the next day...and then watching as my laptop burst into flames. True story.

I love making up words like "bazillion" and then using them casually.......if I was typing this on my Mac it would have told me that that wasn't a word. I feel somewhat unchained, free to mispell words, make them up, and use horrible sentence structure!

We also got a new puppy. He provides endless entertainment and hilarity. Such is the duty of puppies. We named him after a ultimate fighter, as he is very brave. I did find out though that he is not happy with cold. He sits and wimpers and shivers. I sit with him and cuddle him, telling him in soft words that he will have to get over it, that he is an eskimo dog, destined to run great distances in the cold, sometimes carrying packs or pulling a small travois. He ignores me most of the time, though sometimes he will respond with even louder whimpering or he will pucker up and lift his chin in a tiny howl.

My writing has been posted online at: http://www.virtualsubsistence.com/

I wish I had been there to hear my poetry read outloud. It's weird to think about it really, that my writing would be heard by someone other than my closest of friends. It's been a journey of mine, to expose my inner thoughts and practice not cringing. It still feels like everyone is seeing me in my underwear.

Some photos!

The new pup

The night I got to watch a few hundred caribou migrate.

We got frost again. After having everything melt for a week straight!

...pause....

this means I have been able to sleep easily every night, that there are huge lapses in my blog.  

Truth is I have been busy.  A few weeks ago I decided to write all of the things I needed to get done on little post its....and post them on my studio wall.  I combed through my emails, plucking neglected paying jobs from it's murky depths.  Let's just say it was a bit frightening to see.  I had an urge to cover up the little yellow notes when my other half walked in.  He does not know what I do all day, as it changes depending on this and that, and to actually see what jobs lie ahead of me rather surprised him.  But not as much as it surprised me.  They stared at me and I swear their little corners curled to point at me as I walked by.  After a few days of complete artistic shut down and panic I dove right in.  I started with commissions. Or I finished commissions.  Whichever way you want to look at it.  Then I headed into the more tedious jobs, jobs that are fun, but usually cause major brain wrecking.  One by one the little yellow slips of paper came down.  

I am thinking never again to buy post its.....

This weekend I am flying into the city, to pick up art supplies, shop for our dogs, buy a rifle, drop off caribou meat.....the usual and unusual.  I held off as long as possible to make this trip.  I knew I would have to leave here eventually to endure K-mart, parallel parking and hand sanitizer.  We save up gobs of money to shop and stock up on necessities that we will need for a few months, I both hate it and enjoy it at the same time. I enjoy sleeping in a hotel room with fast internet, I enjoy driving a car again, I enjoy gathering goods like a penguin gathers stones for his nest.  But I am going to miss this place for even a few days, miss the annoying dogs, miss seeing the mountains change moods.  

I woke up one morning, one of the pups had gotten loose and the others were barking in their frustration.  Other than that the world was completely silent.  I trudged outside pulling on my slippers and heavy coat and clicked me tongue to get the pups to calm.  It took me a few moments to realize that the sun was rising.  I could hear it.

All around me the world was covered in hoar frost.  

I sat there with the pups, watching this beautiful and most fragile finery disappear.  When it got bright enough I went in and grabbed my camera to capture the fleeting moment.  

 

Niqi

Niqi is ....

Copper taste

of bright red life blood

encased in mellow

seal oil defined

refined

combined

into identity

into me

self connection 

Niqi is...

Tundra taste 

of deep flora green

striking memory

grandmother notes

Allowed

to be proud

of one

of many

of foundations

and stone

Niqi is ...

Love 

Pride

Identity

Family

opposite of need

opposite of want

it is

Wealth

(Niqi translates roughly into english as food/meat......or Inupiaq Food)

The Qalgi

So I had this idea in my head for a while.  

Modern times has created modern connections. I spend more time on the net taking care of my friendships, then I do on the phone or in emails even.  I watch as the younger generation spend even more time on the internet than I do.  They can type faster than I can talk.

I know quite a few young people in school.  Family.  Friends.  Friends of family.  I am so proud of them.  So scared for them.  I know what it's like to cast yourself into the deep blue education system.  Away from home.  Away from everything that is comfortable and known to sink or swim.  No one ever floats.

It was a hard, teeth gritting experience.  One I would never have made it through without the love and support of my family and friends.  I would tell myself to let it out, cry hard into my pillow till my eyes were swollen and red.  Then wipe my face off.  Square my shoulders.  And put on my game face and go to class.

I did not always succeed.  I was not the perfect student.  I got kicked out after my first year.  But without the faith and support that I received over the years.  I would never have gotten to where I am today, I would never wiped off my face and marched out my door.

I believed in myself.  Because there were so many others that believed in me.  So many others that could see what I could not see.  I was blind to my own adequateness. 

I want to let all the other students have what I had.  I want to contribute to success.  And I want to let others contribute to success. So I created the Qalgi. 

http://theqalgi.forumotion.net/forum.htm

How I write....

I finally realized how I write today.

I have been working on a piece that explores the feelings I have about learning my language.  Basically I scribble phrases and words all over a piece of paper.  Images I like.  Words that fit.  It usually happens within one day.  I can never add anymore the next day when the flow is gone and the feelings are not at the surface to be exposed. But I do take some time to refine it....

Want to see what I wrote on this specific piece of paper? keep in mind that this is as rough as it gets.  I'll post the finished product when it is done so you can compare....

Step into my mind...watch your head and remember to duck when I say low bridge.

Language shame

Spoken stigma

Ignorance blooms like puss filled scars and blisters

I become ugly

My tongue is ugly

I push I pull words

Words from my elders claw at my secret heart 

revealing that it is filled with sugar (flour) not seal oil like theirs

I prove that I am not Inupiaq, That I am a fraud

I treasure every word that I know, repeat it, repeat it.

hold it tight.

Just pretending I am

A piece of paper dreaming of being wolf skin

A yellow songbird dreaming of being raven

A sigh, dreaming of being more

A 9-5 worker dreaming of being hunter

A handful of soil, dreaming of being caribou

I feel the single word use my mouth

Rejoice!

Belong!

Place!

The feelings claw at me

wrapped around my elders words

so that I cannot drink

the sweet and the sour at the same time

I choke

I weep

I think

I write

DOgs picking blueberries

We bought an argo.  And it came in on a chubby little plane today. It's not a new one...but it's a beauty.  Yay for craigslist!  I didn't take one picture of it yet.  Typical me!  But we took it out into the country side for a test drive.  We picked blue berries and had campfire hotdogs, while the hillsides changed color with the setting sun.  It was beautiful, the kind of beauty that you could never express in words, or even capture in photos.  

We took the two puppies and Ben's brothers dog Naqayuk, a tall and slender dog with bright eerie salmonberry colored eyes.  She has a softspot for me I think, as she enjoyed giving me kisses and leaning against me as I picked berries.  At one point she started sniffing my fingers while I plucked blue berries from their perches.  As a joke I held one out in the palm of my hand so she could inspect the berry...after a few quick sniffs, she gingerly plucked the berry from my hand and ate it.  It made me laugh.  I picked some more berries and she ate those too!  She watched carefully as I picked berries.  I could almost hear her mind gathering information.  She sniffed where I had just gotten a berry, trying to figure out how they were hidden.  She sniffed my hand, she sniffed my bucket, she sat and watched me for about ten minutes.  At one point I swear I heard 

a "click."  At the next berry patch she again watched what I was doing.  But this time she sniffed AROUND where I was picking, and very very carefully,  she would pull the berries from the bush with her tiny front teeth.  I was hilarious.

Of course the puppies came around and wanted to kn

ow what she was eating.  The sniffed and watched and sniffed and soon after they also were sitting beside me ...picking berries.  It was amazing to me.  That they learned so quickly and they would even find interest in berries, which after all was a fruit.  Silly silly puppies. Maybe next year I should show them how to work for money, and how to do taxes. 

Some pictures from this evening for your enjoyment!

The willow brush is changing everyday, shedding the bright green of summer for the more mottled clothes of fall...

 

My view from front porch this morning.  

Feeling better...

A necklace I finished.  I must have sliced a hundred of those little buggers. Thankfully caribou antler is soft enough that it didn't take long to finish the surfaces. Every time I make a piece it feels as if I'm using beads that are so important to me.  In this case it's the peruvian opal beads, their color so reminds me of the arctic ice. 

I'm thinking of shutting down my website for the time being.  It has become more of a hassle than it's worth.  I'm going to be looking for something simpler I think.   

Back..kinda

So after 3 weeks without internet access.....we finally got it back! 

And Since my timing is always perfect, I got a major cold that turned into a sinus infection.  So now I'm sitting around the house sleeping, doped up on cold meds and antibiotics.  Not exactly the best time to be blogging...lol....so I will see you all when I stop dreaming purple...

:)

New salmonberry recipe.

Been working on this for a while.

Since I can basically cut and paste this I thought I would go ahead and post it!  This recipe still needs work so let me know if you try it!

Salmonberry cake

Salmonberry cake recipe.

A box of white cake mix

3 1/2 cups salmonberries

eggs

water

oil

wire mesh strainer

1/2 cup sugar

cool whip or vanilla ice cream

Directions:

Preheat oven according to box cake directions.  Grease pan well or use cupcake papers.

Cake:

Take two cups of salmonberries and strain the pulp and juice from them.  I do this by placing a small strainer on a bowl and smashing the berries through the strainer with a large metal spoon.  Throw away the seeds left over.   This makes approximately 1 1/4 cup salmonberry pulp/juice.  Place pulp in a small bowl.  Add enough water to make a total of 2 cups of the salmonberry pulp mixture.  Mix well and set aside.

Prepare white cake mix as directed, except substitute one cup of the salmonberry pulp mixture for one cup of water required for the recipe.  Once well mixed, carefully fold in 1 1/2  cups whole salmonberries. Pour into cake pans or cupcake pan with paper cups.  Bake according to box.  I found that it might take a little longer to cook than normal.  Check by inserting a toothpick, cake is done when toothpick comes out clean.  

Topping (prepared while cake is cooking):

In a small saucepan pour in remaining one cup of salmonberry juice, remaining 1/2 cup whole berries, and half cup sugar.  Stirring constantly heat over med high heat till mixture starts to simmer.  Remove from heat and set aside.

Assemble:

For cupcakes:  Before cake cools take a fork and gently poke holes into top of cupcake.  Pour a small spoonful of topping mixture over each cupcake.  Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped topping.

For layered cake:  Poke holes into the layers while cooling with a knife or fork (keep holes in the center of the cake and way from the edges.) .  Pour topping over cake and let cool before assembling.  Serve with whipped topping or vanilla ice cream. 

For a sweeter and drier cake omit the topping. The topping is very tart. You can add whole salmonberries for embellishment.

sporadic internet access

Just a quick note to let you all know that apparently internet access in the village is sporadic.  Our home internet has been null since friday.  

meh.  I hope it comes back soon!

Till then I am making notes and taking pictures :)

Counting caribou

I'm up late tonight.  Listening to the puppies snore, and the absence of the wind outside.

Today I made a few t-shirt designs.  The salmonberry!  of which this web address is named.   It is a new obsession of mine and I will probably Include it everything I make in the next week or so. Ben and I got into a huge discussion today on wether or not the salmonberry on "manly"...that is, can a man wear a salmonberry on his t-shirt and still be a man?  I think so...but I don't think I could get him to wear a salmonberry shirt even if I paid him three caribou.  Here is the site where you can buy my designs:  http://www.cafepress.com/NunaInua

I miss the caribou.  I lie awake at night and think of them.  Imagining them plodding along up north.  Living in a world of constant eating and bug avoidance.  I think of all the wonderful things we will do with their meat.  Dry it.  Boil it. Make Eskimo ice cream.   I plan to take special care of the thinner fall skins thus harvest.  Hopefully I can get enough good ones to make a caribou skin parka for Ben.  One that is lighter and warmer than anything you can buy at the big brand camping gear shop.  I also plan to tan the leg skins so that I can create beautiful things out of them.  

I lay awake dreaming of what beauty will come from the animals I love so much.  Dreaming of caribou. It's a time of bonding with family.  Laughing with friends. Perfecting recipes. Hearts will be singing.  Hands will be busy.  And this year....this year we are going to dry enough to send to relatives that are farther away than most.  

Inupiat Wealth.

It's not green and ...smelly.  There is no quantitive value placed on ...living.  Being alive and full and healthy.  Odd that a larder full of meat makes one feel so WEALTHY.  

Even now I can se them in my minds eye.  Growing fatter as the nights grow longer.  How odd is it that we as people can love our prey so much?  Can respect the animal that we hunt and eat?  But then I feel comforted when I think of my time in California...and how separate I was from the meat I ate.  It's a different life.  Not better. Not worse.  Not even Harder.  Just different.  And it took me years to actually realize that.

We are the eater of souls.  Brilliant beautiful souls.  And it doesn't make you horrible to realize that.  To accept it and even, well, believe in it.  I don't mean roll in it and rub it on your face and everyone's else's face.  But more like acknowledge it.  Make a place for it in your mind.  In your world view.

The arctic is a funny place that way.  It makes you make more room in your mind.  

I wonder if I counted...caribou...I would be able to sleep?

Sometimes I hate computers....

Really.

Today I spent the whole day trying to get my website up.  I made a few new pieces of jewelry so I was excited to get them uploaded.  Well it took all day.  All day.  The only break was when Aapaa and Payuk came and visited.  I'm sure I was rather mean looking when they walked in.  But we ate some Unallik and it put me in a better mood.  I like being in a better mood.

I finished this piece today...

I'm rather proud of it.  And I can't wait till I get my hands on some more caribou antlers.  So far what I and my other half have found has had green on it.   So I'm keeping my fingers crossed to finally find some v=clean and aged antler.

My website is now up and running! www.nuna-inua.com

Echo.

Peace be with those that eat the sour foreign fruit that they left us and,

Smooth away the crumbs of self hate upon our lips,

Spurn the dragon and his burning aged comfort,

For happiness is always regretted payment so,

Raise our weeping souls on wings of Golden eagle,

and tongue of ice bound depths sojourn,

for you are forever salmonberry blooded,

for you are diamond myth brought to life,

for you are sod book of ancient wealth,

for you are guardian of future precious self,

Salmonberry warriors,

Salmonberry royalty,

Create enough to cause silent ripple,

to cause lasting effect,

to echo.

to Echo.

to ECHO.

to ECHO in the lichen.

Lost Dog.....

This morning we decided to take the whole day and go for a ride to fish for arctic Char. We pack the bags (and dug out some caribou ribs from the freezer for an extra special treat) unleashed the puppies and left while it was still breezy and warm out....

We made our way to "Char Hole"....a magical place along the Anaktuvuk River.  Magical because the Char are sly and yummy, and as we all know there are few things in the world that are both sly and yummy at the same time.  On the way there we spotted what looked to be a black Volkswagen van.  A dark and monstrous being swayed its way through heavy willow across the river from the bank we were traveling on.  On closer inspection it turned out to be a huge bull moose in it's prime.  I squealed a tiny bit as I realized that if our dogs saw the beast they would for sure chase after it, and that would definitely end badly.  So we cluck at the pups to keep their attention and drove carefully by the monstrous moose.  At the last moment I whipped out my camcorder and got a few seconds of the animal standing in the willows...I swear he was squinting his moosie eyes at us.....

We made it to char hole....where Ben caught one tiny grayling, and I fought with a huge Char, and then lost it to the deep green depths of the river.  Apparently I squeal alot when fighting huge Char, enough so that a few minutes later Ben told me that I need to be "Calm".  I gave him a moosie squint.

Tired and hungry we made a small cooking fire in the willows and hung the caribou ribs to cook.  I must tell you that this meal has to be the one meal that everyone should taste at least once in their lives.  The burning willow add a smoky flavor to the lean and clean taste of the caribou.  I

t was so good in fact that we at first did not notice that the wind was dying down...and Satan's hordes of mosquitoes had found us.  

I now know what a million mosquitoes sound like. 

I must have had a 1/2 inch thick layer of deet on my body, plus a mosquito net jacket.  I swear they would slam into one spot on my body till they wore the deet off...just so they could bite me.  We took breaks long enough to wipe the bugs off the pups, and shoo them of our jackets.  We headed home as fast as possible.

At one point Nuna, our dog, was side tracked by a running ground squirrel.  Which happens often enough.  We are going at a pretty slow pace anyways so we don't stop, we just keep a eye on her. We crossed a small river and waited on the other side.  Calling her name.  Whistling.  And in the distance we saw her tiny figure bounding out into the deep tundra. She was moving fast.  She did not look in our direction at all, so Ben took his rifle and fired a shot into the air trying to get her attention.  She turned and glanced at us for a second...then headed over a hill about a mile away and disappeared.  

Stupid Pup was frantically following another trail headed East.  So we trudged after her, whistling and calling her name.  But by the time we got there she was long gone.  We drove in big circles for about 45 minutes.  

Gah my poor pup.  

So tonight I have left her some food and water outside in the kunichuck (like an enclosed porch, or "vestibule") and I hope and pray she makes it home safe.  The younger pups fell asleep as soon as they got home.  

Long night....

Today I looked all over the internet for Salmonberry dessert recipes.  I found...two.

So I think I'm going to pick as many berries this fall as I can, then experiment with recipes.  I'm mainly interested in  pies and cakes....but I was thinking to try a dumpling, maybe with some blackberries thrown in.  Salmonberries are an odd sweet...with notes of orange and lemon.  It should be fun.

Every weekend my other half leaves to look for game.  And at least once a month something happens so he doesn't return on time.  And I sit and worry and clean or watch sappy movies of which I never remember the title or the plot.  And I think about hanging his shoes.  

In the old day the women would take a pair of their hunters old boots and hang them up on the rafters or drying racks.  If the boots quit moving then the hunter was in trouble and would probably not make it home.  

So I stayed up most of the night, waking up every few hours to pace and check the weather.  He was fine...tired...but fine.

I wrote this a long time ago....

.......

My Hunter

Come home to me

Avoid her blinding white gaze

take no comfort

in her cold arms

My Hunter

Come home to me

Love her

As I love her

Cherish her

Like I cherish her

But never forget she is a unforgiving mistress

My Hunter

Come home to me

I have rituals

And rites

Till you come back to me

So you can remember

The warmth and the rest

My Hunter

Come home to me

Ignore her whispered promises

For she can tell lies

Be wiser than her

And come home to me.

Things I found awesome today:

The wind blowing away the bugs...

The word "salutations"...

The sun dipped behind the mountains and there was a sunset...

and this photo:

    

Ninja baby birds

I take the dogs for a daily run everyday.  Not very far....just enough to stretch their legs and shake the dust from their coats.  If it's hot out I will take them to a pond and let them swim after sticks. 

Here you can see Nuna and Bullet.  It took a week or so for Bullet to get up the courage to jump in after Nuna, and now he enjoys it as much as she does.

Later we drove down the river a little.  I was looking for the flash of dark in the clear waters that would tell me that there was fish...the pups were busy looking for squirrels.  At one point I noticed some pretty angry birds hovering over the pups.  The pups bounced after them, clumsily trying to their best to play with the tiny delicate birds.  I saw something speed across the sand...and then it disappeared.  Ah.  Ninja baby birds.

The pups actually almost stepped on this guy....but I shooed them away before they could do any harm.  I'm sure I will be getting a thank you note from the parents soon....

I drove farther than I go normally.  Far enough away to make me think of rogue brown bears and porcupines. I started to think of my fear.  I pictured it to be like that tiny baby bird.  Hiding, only seeing it when it moved or reacted.  An odd combination of fragile and sneaky...and kinda cute.  

I have been working on a few writings.  One has to do with things that are painful to think about. And every time I sit to write about it, I'm faced with a fear....a tiny fragile fear...that only moves whens it's poked.  The piece is about being ridiculed.  About being put down for my Inupiaq veiws.  It's about how I learned to be afraid and doubt myself.  How I learned to question my opinions because of my race.  But every time I sit to write...this little fear races across the computer screen.  And I protect it like I did that tiny bird. And at this point I don't know why.  

I know the piece will be written eventually.   And it won't be as groundbreaking as it should be, but it will be done. 

Things I found to be awesome today:

The word "riven"....

Mosquito Dope...

Sneaky squirrels that sit in holes and yell at frustrated puppies...

 

Begins!

 So I have wanted to do a blog ...forever....

I don't do anything particularly awesome....I dabble a bit in pretty much anything that might be considered "artistic".......so this is not really a "wow I'm cool" type of blog....

I think as a consequence to being "artistic"....I'm thinking about things all the time.  Constantly.  I move words and images in my mind all day...finding new combinations...finding new meanings. It drives me crazy at night.  I toss and turn and THINK.....and imagine....and get excited about every little thing I experienced that day.  So in a way this blog will be therapeutic for me.  When B3 (my other half, aka Benjamin III) has to get up early in the morning he complains about being able to hear my thinking.  And so alot of times I try and block them out with tv...which drives him even more crazy.  So here I am.  Blogging ...mentally naked.

My Name is Rainey ...my real name is Nasugraq... and I currently live in Anaktuvuk Pass Alaska.  A place that God himself probably resides in. at least he/she has spent some time here I'm sure.  I just moved here not too long ago.  I'm Inupiaq Eskimo, and I love salmonberries and long walks on the tundra.  

And this is my life. 

Hopefully I will be blogging every night.  Mental barfing.  It probably won't make much sense, but at least it will be out of my head :)